What If Anxiety Had a Meaning?

This post will refer to excellent boo by Rollo May The Meaning of Anxiety

“Anxiety is the price we pay for the possibility of freedom.” Rollo May

We often think of anxiety as something to be eliminated as though it’s a fault in our system, an unwanted intruder disrupting our lives. My key philosophy of emotions is they are your friends so don’t push them away ,ignore them and repress them. Ask the question to your self what if anxiety isn’t trying to hurt you? What if it's trying to help you? What if anxiety was not a flaw, but a signal an inner messenger asking you to pause, listen, and gently explore something deeper within yourself?

A Natural Part of Being Human

Rollo May, a compassionate and courageous voice in existential psychology, believed that anxiety is not an illness in itself, but a vital part of the human condition. He offered a reframe: anxiety is the”inner tension that arises when we stand between where we are and where we are being called to grow”

He described two kinds of anxiety: normal anxiety comes from healthy challenges and the uncertainties of growth. It's uncomfortable, but it keeps us alert, engaged, and alive.

Neurotic anxiety comes from avoiding those challenges when we deny or repress what we need to face, the anxiety doesn’t go away, it just turns inwards.

Practical Tip 1: Pause Instead of Suppress

Instead of asking yourself, “How do I stop feeling this?”, try asking:

“What is this anxiety trying to tell me?”

“What am I afraid of losing or becoming?”

“Is this anxiety connected to a change I’m resisting?”

Roll May encouraged conscious awareness, not avoidance. Even taking 5 minutes to sit with your feelings in a quiet space can begin the process of integration. Journaling, mindful breathing, or expressive art can help surface what’s been buried.

Listening to What Anxiety Is Really Saying

Often, anxiety is a “call to become more authentic”. It might be whispering:

“You’re outgrowing a role you’ve been playing.”

“This situation no longer aligns with your truth.”

“A choice is needed but fear is holding you back.”

Rather than trying to silence that voice, Rollo May encourages to listen. He wrote that “anxiety arises where freedom exists”. That means if you’re feeling anxious, you’re likely at a threshold: your inner world knows change is possible.

Practical Tip 2: Translate Anxiety into Values

Anxiety often signals a conflict between your current life and your deeper values. Ask yourself:

“What values might this anxiety be connected to?”

“Am I living in a way that feels aligned with what really matters to me?”

“What’s one small action I can take today to honour those values?”

Rollo May believed that clarity of values reduces anxiety. When you live in accordance with your values even imperfectly your inner world becomes more coherent, and fear has less room to grow.

A Compassionate Way Forward

In my work with clients whether through hypnotherapy, art therapy, or compassionate conversation we don’t rush to “fix” anxiety. We honour it. We explore it gently, with curiosity and care.

Sometimes that looks like uncovering hidden beliefs.

Sometimes it’s learning how to set boundaries.

Sometimes it’s releasing past pain that’s quietly shaping present fears.

“Courage is not the absence of anxiety, but the ability to act in spite of it.” Rollo May

Practical Tip 3: Channel Anxiety Into Purposeful Action

Rollo May believed that anxiety could be transformed through courageous action even if small. This doesn’t mean rushing forward recklessly, but choosing meaningful steps.

Try this:

Choose one area of your life where anxiety shows up.

Break it into the smallest next step (e.g. send an email, set a boundary, speak your truth).

Take that step with intention and compassion.

Each act of courage rewires your nervous system to feel safer in the face of uncertainty.

You Are Not Broken

There is nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious.

In fact, feeling anxiety means you're awake, aware, and perhaps on the edge of something new.

You don’t need to fix yourself.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You simply need space to explore, with someone who will walk beside you gently, without judgment.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve been carrying anxiety quietly trying to manage it alone I want you to know: you are not alone. And you don’t have to keep pushing through.

There is another way one that honours your experience, your humanity, and your longing to feel whole.

If this resonates, I invite you to reach out. Whether through an initial consultation or a different type of session, we can begin uncovering what your anxiety might be trying to tell you—and what freedom might feel like on the other side.